Health Project

5 healthy foods:

• Carrots-

Carrots are just plain healthy. They have rad vitamins like vitamin A! Without vitamin A, we would all have bad eyesight and run into walls. Carrots also help treat digestion problems. Oh, but don't go on an all-carrot diet... you'll turn orange.

• Apple Juice-

Apple juice is another healthy food. Apple juice is healthy because it has vitamin C. Vitamin C helps prevent you from getting sick. Apple juice also can help prevent age-related diseases, like Alzheimer's and cancer.

• Spinach-

Spinach is spinachy. It has super duper things like iron and calcium. Iron helps prevent anemia. Calcium helps form strong bones and teeth and what not. Spinach also gives you big sailor muscles like Popeye.

• Almonds-

Almonds are wonderful. They help your skin and they help prevent cancer. Need I say more? Yep. Almonds can be pressed to make almond oil. Almond oil is magical because it can be eaten AND used for massages.

• Kiwi-

Tired of taking your vitamins? Just eat a kiwi! Kiwis are stuffed with neato things like vitamin C, potassium, and vitamin E. Also, they have a bunch of dietary fiber. Oh, and you can eat the skin.

5 unhealthy foods:

• Skittles-

Skittles are super sugary. They also have saturated fat and trans fat. Skittles will rot your teeth straight out of your mouth and you will have to get dentures and soak your teeth every night before you go to bed. You know, worst case scenario. But I love Skittles. Just don't eat too many of 'em.

• Crisco-

Crisco is basically an oil turned into a solid. And yes, I mean FAT. FAT stands for Families Are Tapeworms. Oh, wait, no, that's not right... Anyway, uhh... now I lost my train of thought. It's a pretty short train, though. Not such a big loss.

• Twinkies-

Twinkies last about a million and eight years, which means they're chock full of preservatives. Okay, so it's actually more like 25 days. Twinkies have lots of sugar, corn syrup, and shortening. I believe I already covered shortening (sorta... see "crisco").

• Donuts-

Donuts are delicious. Everyone knows that. Everyone also knows that donuts are full of grody stuff like sugar and trans fat. Eat donuts, but only occasionally. Why? Because you'll turn into a pumpkin and break your chair, then fall through the earth all the way to China. That's why.

• Drano-

Okay, so Drano isn't technically food. Or "food" in any sense of the word, really. Drano is meant to burn all the junk out of your drain, and will do the exact same thing to the inside of your throat and stomach. Don't drink Drano. You will die. Unless you live.